Kabir Singh- A Super Scary Love Story !

So this is not going to be a dispassionate movie review. If you are looking for one, please go read some other one. I went to watch Kabir Singh because this is *exactly* the kind of behaviour which I think is all wrong with men, even in this day and age. And this is *exactly* the kind of proprietorship behaviour which must NOT be celebrated in the movies. ‘Woh meri bandi hai’ goes the hero to justify any stalker-like crazy behaviour which he portrays. Nope, Nein, Na-da. Woh teri property NAHI hai!! Period!

Let’s go first with the positives of the movie (coz well, if it’s just taken as craft, it is a very well-made one). Shahid is brilliant in his portrayal of misogynistic, over-possessive, angry lover surgeon. Kabir is a mad genius. We have to understand certain behaviours here. Men who perpetrate such crime are not necessarily some stupid crazy men. Many of them are highly intelligent, accomplished, passionate men who excel in other fields of life. It’s that same passion gone all wrong. Kabir for example is a straight A student, football captain, blah blah blah. But he has serious anger issues. In the very beginning of the movie, he is shown getting crazily furious at the house help because she breaks a glass. The audience is laughing as he chases her down the flight of stairs and then out of the building. I cringe in my seat. What’s so funny about it? This is purely making mockery of abuse of domestic help!!! Definitely NOT funny!

Next, he gets madly angry in a football match. Has no regard for authority. Beats the shit out of opponent. Again audience is jeering and there is clapping. Baap re! Pagal hain kya! But very very frankly, this is the exactly the kind of bad boy behaviour which I also found very attractive in college. A guy laying claim over you and telling the whole college – ‘Ye teri bhabhi hai’, ‘Isko dekha toh aankh phod daalunga’, ‘Paas aaya na toh taange tod dunga’…. and many more such dialogues seem so appealing at that age na! Coz most of us are fed on media images, and the quintessential bad boy image who loves you so crazy, he marks his territory seems very seductive with hormones raging.

In a college scene where Kirti walks in as a first year student, and Kabir can’t stop staring- a scene which legitimises eve-teasing (yes, yes, we know men look at women. Be discreet! If you are making her uncomfortable, STOP!) He then walks into her class, orders the boys to lay off her, dictates which friends she can have, asks her to step out of the class so that he can teach her ‘anatomy’, kisses her in front of the college, all without consent and Kirti meekly obliges to each without a peep. Super! As someone said 1 hour into the movie, arre heroine ka ek dialogue aaya! Unfortunately, in most Indian households, even today, that’s exactly how girls are brought up. Meek, obliging, not raising a voice and definitely not saying NO! Of course, eventually she falls in love with him. And of course, ultimately when her parents don’t consent to the marriage, he gives HER one tight slap! I literally cowered in my seat in this scene! Nope, she did not hit back or scream for help or call 100! That would’ve shown the right approach to such violent behaviour! But NO! She goes on to marry him!

Issue with these kind of movies is that most of us never grow up, especially men. And THAT is going to be the side-effect of this cinema. An alcoholic, druggist, abusive man with anger issues has been glamorised as a super-intelligent, hot man whose behaviour everyone endorses and ultimately, he gets the girl. Sigh…. all in the name of love. And when they don’t get the girl, there are acid-attacks, sexual harassment, rapes and murders. Coz life isn’t a movie. AND this ain’t love baby. This is madness, lust, desire, control and over-possessiveness. And the solution is to go to a psychiatrist, and sort out the anger issues before you self-destruct yourself, and someone else in the process.

Dear movie-makers, please stop glamorising it. Wish the movie gave some answers as to how this behaviour could be rectified. But here, it seems rectified only when he finally marries the girl, and they supposedly live happily ever after. Aisa nahi hota. Situations happen, and anger rises again. As marriage is not happily ever after. It is a lot of work towards building a relationship and life together based on compatibility and mutual understanding EVERY SINGLE DAY. And with the pressures of modern life, it’s definitely not a cakewalk. So sort the mental-health issues, PLEASE!

Anyways, the movie is worth watching for some fabulous acting by Shahid, and boy he does look hot. Those low- waist pyjamas…. he owns them! Kiara Advani has played the submissive Indian girl really well. She doesn’t even raise her eyes, let alone her voice. Rest of the cast has done their job too. The songs are hauntingly melodious.

But please, oh please, send out the message that this is exactly the kind of behaviour which is all wrong and DO NOT idolise Kabir Singh. The fact that this movie got made in this day and age portrays a mirror of the society that this STILL very much exists- and in the crème la crème of the society.

Please help change the mindsets. Before it gets too late.

You can also read the review here

Kabir Singh- A Scary Love Story !

10 thoughts on “Kabir Singh- A Super Scary Love Story !

  1. This is very well articulated review about the crass mindset of the society where a man wants to own and possess a woman. May be this mindset has germinated because of the hunting nature of the human race where he had to stake claim of his kill or territory for his survival. But no more. The human race itself has evolved. The uncertainities have long gone. Movies shape the mindset in a major way hence we need to be cautious of what messaging we are giving to our future generations. Kudos to Surbhi for alluding to the reality and highlighting these aspects in her review and not just complimenting on various facets of cinemography.


    1. Thank you so much Neeraj for the kind comment and calling out what is wrong with this kind of messaging. The message that this behaviour is unacceptable needs to be spread in youth.


  2. History of bollywood movies…stalkers getting the girl ultimately to say “yes” to them coz they would’nt take “no”for an answer.
    You have nailed it right girl.very well analyzed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post Surbhi.

    A couple of points here…

    One is that the movie is doing so well on the Box office, like really well tells me the audience has appreciated the content. Now that is SCARY, because it endorses the narrative. This is no Aashiqui_2 where the alcoholic has to pay his life in retribution, here he converts back to a normal being in a day..as you said Aisa nahi hota. But who will tell the Male audience in India who is eating out of the hands of those who build this narrative?

    Second, a point that I had not thought about – being attracted to the possessive and bad boy behavior. Well no issues with that, but in real life is there no consent / encouragement / hint of green signal from the female before this happens ? Does one do it without knowing the name and objectifying as the ;new girl in white dress’? Your thoughts on this please.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First things first… thank you for agreeing that it’s scary how much the movie is being appreciated.. In real life, this man would’ve become an abusive spouse or worse… As for the second one, there MUST BE CONSENT! And nope, iski na mein bhi Haan hain, is just the guy not taking a no for an answer… which leads to all kinds of stalking, Eve-teasing , harassment , acid attacks, rapes and more! Typical proprietary behaviour ki yeh Meri hai ! Nope.. not done! Please pretty please do not endorse this behaviour.. there is enough crime against women already!


  4. Iski na mein haan hai was the bollywood narrative in 80’s n 90’s ….in those movies they used to show the girl as sensible, atleast there was lip service to resistance from females…yahan toh the girl is like a Nandi bull, just shaking her head and agreeing to be his property….n he keeps a dog n names the dog after her…this movie is wrong at so many levels….in fact people dissenting against this on social media are being met with trolling and abusive behavior,

    I dunno why but I dont even find any men bothering to condemn the movie..watching from the sidelines, while neither supporting nor deploring it….this is the silent majority who actually think it’s OK, its only a movie etc… .Guess I am not yet infected by the disease

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for being a real man and saying this Gary. I absolutely agree, this movie is so wrong at so many levels. And I have faced some serious trolling on it- and from women too! They feel this is love! This is what is wrong with behaviours… they run deep and we don’t recognise them. Worse, we endorse them. And I wouldn’t say that I haven’t in the past too… just that when you do understand, one must stop.

      As for men raising a voice… when is that ever happening. Otherwise you think there would be so many crimes against women happening? Must be difficult for so many of them to stand no? Without a spine ….


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